CyprusKnees

sometimes i am just not good at the world.
I don't know if it helps or hinders that I work from home now but it definitely lessens my anxiety. Whether it is all momentum... I don't really want to know.

I go to school because I have to. Everything is split into two:
allowed to avoid|not allowed to avoid.
for reasons not always explainable, certain tasks or outings end up in one or the either. I have to go out later tonight, but i'll be protected by james and closed in spaces, that is allowed. I have yoga in half an hour but I am sitting in my kitchen nook by the window and the only space I can allow myself to fathom is the expanse beyond the glass. [the yoga room is too big. I can't wear a sweater because I get warm. my hip is tired.] I am panicky about going out more than twice in one day. there is no safety in yoga. Once there I know I will reach the 45 minute mark as always, and spend the rest of the class relaxed. But getting to that point is tiresome and holeing up is so much easier.